Looking back.

I don’t think I can recognized the 19 year old girl that was as nervous as could be while standing at the alter, about to marry the world’s most incredible human. I feel like she is not even a replica of who I am, who I have become. I was so unsure of who I was, mostly because I didn’t know who I was. I didn’t know WHOSE I was. I was afraid that marriage was goung to do more damage than good, I was afraid of being loved…really loved. The kind of love that comes back to hold the door open for you even when he is mad. The kind of love that gives more grace than he should. That kind of love was completely unfeasible to me at 19. Jesus has done so much. People claim that in their lives all the time, which is completely true to His character, He changes you, transforms you into something so different that you look back and say, “who was that girl?”


My heart has healed. My mind transformed. My spirit free. The great thing about Jesus is you just keep going. Glory to glory. He keeps chiseling away. Smoothing out the rough edges, ever so slowly sometimes but progress is being made.


Fourteen years. I honestly don’t feel old enough to say I have been married for 14 years and together for EIGHTEEN. Over half our life and we still like each other…most days. After trying for almost 4 years doctors saying you probably won’t ever have children…little did we all know I was already pregnant with ELI! Having 4 amazing kids, and one in heaven. Taking each other’s hands and jumping with our eyes closed into what faith really looks like, trusting this God we say we trust but action! Switching roles, moving across the world in a foreign place…and still hanging on tight to each other. I am so so thankful for this man that took me to be his wife at 19. That saw something in me that wasn’t yet even grown. I am beyond thankful to Jesus for this life I don’t deserve. That the enemy tried so very hard to steal…but love rescued me.

That’s why we are here ya know…the rescued help rescue.