I’ve gotten over the fear of the “Ask”. I really truly cannot believe I am typing those words.

 

All my life I have been “self reliant” which I now know is no such thing. I moved out on my own before I graduated High School, I paid my way, I got married at 19 and we paid for the entire wedding ourselves. We got cars, stuff, a house..and every penny was on “our own”. In fact I think we took pride in the fact that we did it, never asked mom and pop for a dime and never received one either. Then New Zealand happened….and has had the last four years of my life spinning upside down and completely changed everything we knew about God, self-reliance and most important PRIDE. He showed us HE has it all. ALL. All can only ever mean all.

 

He showed us that He is the one who takes care of each one of us in the degree He decides. That trusting Him fully is the scariest and most freeing action step you will ever take. Oh MY yes it is! That when you give or sell literally pretty much every article of anything you ever owned and He shows up and blows your mind to bits, it becomes clear who’s BOSS.

I have right now 10 Tupperware totes in a friend’s garage to my name. In these totes are dishes, important papers and pictures. This is what I own after 33 years of walking this earth. TEN measly totes some would say. What you can’t see is a lifetime of seeing His glory in just 4 short years. Seeing the Miraculous. Seeing my FATHER. Feeling and knowing I am in His calling. Watching my kids see Him move the day after we pray a prayer. Seeing REAL captives set FREE in Jesus NAME! Watching darkness crumble to the floor like it never was. Seeing a tangible garment of HOPE on a body once beaten and exposed. I am FILTHY stinkin RICH.

 

SO here’s why I am no longer afraid of the “ask”. As missionaries you take the verse “ you have not because you ask not” Literally. I am not asking on behalf of me, I am not even asking on behalf of all the girls that need hope. I am always asking on behalf of God, this is His business plan. I am a vessel willing to work for Him. I ask because my Boss said, “Go”…and it takes that paper stuff to do so.

 

God has done more cool things in the past two weeks than I can even share on here (but oh I will soon). We are just $550.00 away in our monthly goal. That literally means 11 people giving 50.00 dollars a month, 12.50 a week! That keeps us in Thailand with a roof, food, car, expenses and more! Living what He has told us to do. If this sounds like a plan to you, our donate button right on our blog will help you do so!

 

We would love to have coffee with you and share if this is on your heart to support us, heck even if it isn’t we’d grab coffee with you and brag about this incredible God we worship and serve! He meets us right where are, doesn’t he!?

 

Don’t be afraid to tell the world what He has done…it’s the only HOPE they have.

You remember Christmas morning as a kid, when you would run out to the Christmas tree realizing its brightly lit because it was still dark out, but it didn’t matter because it was the one day your parents were ok to see the whites of your eyes that early. Do you remember the anticipation of opening up that first gift? Hoping that Santa (which you knew was your parents) remembered you really wanted that specific thing?

I remember one year where the presents under the tree were good and all, I liked each one of them…but I didn’t realize what was waiting for me in the least likely places…your stocking!

 

I know, stockings were filled with candy mostly and responsible things like toothbrushes and socks (the kinds of things I wouldn’t mind getting now as an adult). Not this time though, my mom had thrown a curve ball when I had least expected it. In my stocking was the best gift, a crisp 100.00 bill! I remember jumping up and down and smelling it…I do that. I was so shocked to find something of greater value in my stocking than my presents under the tree!

 

It’s exactly how I feel coming “home”. Being in Thailand with a family has been no easy feat. In fact in the 14 years I have been married to charming, it’s been the hardest 7 months times three. No joke. Being on the field has pushed up any yuck that you in fact had no idea was lying dormant. It has forced us to cling to Jesus, most days we are keenly aware He is all we have. It has changed us, knocked us down, shaved off imperfections, and put us thru the refiners fire. So naturally when I was coming home I thought “ ahhh, a break” or “it’s going to be so good for me to be home” and it is, but for a completely different reason…yes the surprise stocking!

 

Being home has ultimetly made me aware that this is not my “home” anymore, at least not fully. It has made me see that I am called to Thailand in this season, even though it’s the harder thing to choose it’s the better choice. It’s made me see things I could not have if I hadn’t came back. Like how ridicoulsly amazing our support network is, God has showed up in some AMAZING and crazy ways. Just a small thing but such a God wink…the people that we gave our van to last September was planning on selling it to use the money, friends of theirs needed a vehicle so they borrowed it out a few months, then it was winter so who wants to get a car ready then. It sat until spring! They were cleaning it all up last week ready to bring it to a dealer to sell when they couldn’t find the key! So that got put on hold. They just found the key Tuesday (the day I got in mind you) they were going to take it to the dealer to sell when they got a text asking if anyone knew someone with an extra car to let Angie use. I get a text saying “hey you can you use your/our van if you need..Lol” You can’t make this stuff up. God literally is providing the same car to me that we gave away.

 

People are amazing here. It has allowed me to once again get a glimpse of the God I serve. He cares about every detail of our lives. Even the detail of when I am used to driving on the other side of the road and thankfully no oncoming cars. Yeesh! Its been good to be back, but not for the reasons I thought. Like beef, bathtubs and cool air. All those have been great..really great…but nothing to knowing that your calling is in the exact place that He has put you. There is Nothing like knowing you are doing what you were made to do. So when you begin to wonder or doubt and He sends you to America to remind you it’s a beautiful thing. Trust Him folks, your life will never be the same.

 

 

 

Random observations in my first 24 hours:

-I can hear everyone’s conversation in a room! Not just hear but know what ya’all are saying!

-There is a lot of OPEN spaces in America..aka we are not on top of each other! Love it!

-It smells nice here.

-There are WAY too many choices for deodorant here. WAY. TOO. MANY.

-Coffee is better than I remember

-Friends are sweeter than I knew

-Beds are soo comfy here! ( can I slap this sucker on my back and get on a plane?)

-I love turning on the radio in the car and I hear what they are singing!

-Beef is nice.

 

 

Thank you all for connecting with me, spoiling me, praying for my family and just in general Minnesota Nice stuff. You make it so much easier to be away from my kids and charming. XO.

 

Don’t forget THIS Monday our BBQ come here what God is doing and how you can be a part! 6-8! See you soon!