Can I be real with y’all for a moment? I mean really real. It’s funny how being transparent about our struggles and issues with others can be frightening, yet this is exactly what the rest of the world is craving. They want other people to be real and honest. We want to know that we all are essentially the same. We all have highs and lows. The problem is, most people only let you in on their highs. You know what I’m talking about? We all do it. Every. Single. One of us! We are hoping that someone, anyone, will applaud or notice our strengths. We want someone else to validate us and make us feel “good enough”. Why? For what? Who are we trying to be good enough for? So, in an effort to debunk some myths about myself, let me be real and raw with you. Hopefully it will inspire you to do the same.
This week has been miserable. There really is no nice way to type that. Trust me, I tried. Four times. It has been the hardest in a very long time. Yes, Christians, even though we cling to Him and His grace, sometimes life can drag you out back and give you a good beating. I have a high tolerance for stress, or so I am told. It’s likely I am faking that, too. Regardless, I crumbled up into a little ball last week and cried and yelled.
We had a friend’s husband go to be with Jesus this week, very tragically and way too young. There are not words for this, so I won’t try to create them. We have friends who are getting divorced, and one of our family members who just found out they have cancer. Not to mention all the unspeakable things that are happening around the world.
So I had it out with God. He’s my Papa, so I can do this. I asked Him. I wrote it down in my journal:
God, if you are calling us to Thailand, then when will You show up? In order for us to keep going, we need to buy our tickets, but there isn’t money to do that. God, I really need you to wink at me… to whisper…
“Ang darling, I’ve got this.”
I put my pen down, and the second I did, my phone dinged with an email. You guys. I’m not making this up. I looked at it and immediately began to bawl. Some sweet couple donated $2,000 to us!!!! I cried. It wasn’t even about the money or the plane tickets. It was that in that moment, He came to me!
Psalm 34:4 “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears.”
This flooded my soul. It’s been said, “God is the latest man always on time.” Yes indeed! I had clarity again. This was what we had been praying for weeks. It was just answered, and, in that moment, I wasn’t thinking, “Yeah, well there is a lot more that has to come in right quick!” No. I was praising Him for the rainbow in the storm.
You see, there is always always something to be grateful for. It’s our choice to thank Him and speak life over ourselves and our circumstances. I started to thank Him for what He was doing, even though I couldn’t always see it. I remembered that just a few days earlier, someone bought our kids iPads so they can do their schoolwork and we don’t have to haul a bunch of books with us. How generous our God is! I focused on the countless stories we hear about how He is using us and our faith story to lead people to walk out their own! My heart began to burst!
Sometimes if we take our eyes off our pain and struggles, and even just glance at Him and who He is, our problems began to fade in comparison to Him. It’s not that they aren’t real and aren’t hard, but they become fuzzier and fade a little bit.
I want to encourage you. I wish I could be sitting by a fire with a coffee in hand with whoever is reading this. Your pain and struggles are real, yes they are! However, your Creator — who spoke life into existence — is FAR more real. I am going to do my best to keep my eyes fixed on Him. When my kids are stressed because they feel the uncertainty coming, or when I can’t remember why we even started down this path, I will look to Him — where my help comes from.
His grace is sufficient. He said so. When you feel as though you cannot face another day or look in the mirror, He is busy rejoicing over us! Hard to believe? Yes… ditto. He loved us while we were STILL sinners! He holds NO good thing back! We can do ALL things He has called us to through Christ who gives us strength. And it’s a good thing too, because I’ve got nothing left!
SO, here are the details for those who want to know!
We are praising Jesus up in here! We are 60% monthly funded!!! YEEHAW! We sent out letters last week reminding everyone to set up their automatic giving. When it all comes in, we will be 60% funded! This is actually a big deal people. A family of six living full-time missions 60% funded monthly!! God IS good!
We are now looking at tickets!! EEK! We are praying God moves and we will be leaving in September! We have to raise about $10,000 before we go. We are praying 100 people will selflessly and sacrificially give $100 so we’ll be ready to leave. He is bringing Himself glory!
Pray for our kids – that they would be filled with peace as they see all of our belongings be sold or given away. We want them to see this as an adventure their Heavenly Daddy has them on. Most days they are so amazing I could sob just thinking about it.
All-around prayer is amazing. We have such amazing people that are praying and giving to this. We often look at each other and think, “Wow! God, You are so good!” If you are reading this, and you have gotten to the bottom of this (bless your heart), please ask Him if you are to be a part of what He is doing with the lives of these innocent kids! Thanks again!!
That’s all for now! Can’t wait to see Him show up in all our lives! Please shoot us an email if we can pray for you. We are honored to do so. The more people we share our story with, the more glory He gets when He shows up!
In His grip,