Lately we have been sorta holding our breath with God. Today that all changed for me. You see we are like $15,000 away from our Goal. Yes I know. Yes we are leaving in three weeks. Yes we need it all before we can leave. We have been battling for months what you are feeling right now…discouraged. We know He has called us. He has confirmed it dozens of times. We know He has also called us to radical faith. This is something we thought we had up until like four months ago, when we only started to see the tip of this kind of faith. Now as we immerse ourselves everyday in praying and reading His word we have begun to really see the Fathers heart. So what do you do when your Goal seems so out of reach, when people laugh and criticize you for your “ignorance”. We push in harder and we lean on Him fully. The deal is this isn’t “our” dream. It’s Gods! We never not once thought about going into the mission field. In fact I was on my first and only mission trip to Jamaica a few years back and it was…um..shall I say challenging? I remember praying when I got home “Lord please never make me do that again”. Yeah well. Now I’m not so focused on the missionary part but seeing people’s lives changed because of the hope of Jesus will get me out of bed every single morning.
Samm and I both have cried, prayed and asked our guts out. We have done everything we know how. It has consumed our thoughts day and night, and we have been holding our breath just waiting to see God move. Hoping. Wondering. Praying. The cool thing is that we have raised a lot of money already in a short amount of time. It gets hard to remember that and stay in a constant state of gratitude when you have so much more to raise.
A few nights ago everyone was gone which let me tell you when you are living with two families a total of 9 people this is a rare thing. Anyway I was sitting in the livingroom with the wind blowing thru the windows and it was soo peaceful. I grabbed my bible and asked God to speak to me thru His word(he totally does this) I opened up to Philippians. I started to read and not even absorbing ANYTHING I read I started to cry and I begged Him to speak to me. Guess what? He did. Read on:
4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. 6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.
AMAZING I felt peace instantaneously! Then I began to ask Him to provide for us.
10 I rejoiced greatly in the Lord that at last you renewed your concern for me. Indeed, you were concerned, but you had no opportunity to show it. 11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength.
I know it might not hit you the same. That’s what the Holy Spirit does though. I will never forget that day. This week we raised another 400.00! We are getting calls from people about the amazing cool God stories that are happening when they acted in radical faith and you know what I think? He is using them to strengthen our faith not just the givers. So starting again I will not be holding my breath until we go. I will be holding onto Jesus though.
Love you all!